Throwing
Away The Plastic Barbie Doll
plas·tic
adj. 1. Capable of being shaped or formed: plastic material such as
clay. See Synonyms at malleable. 2. Relating to or dealing with shaping
or modeling: the plastic art of sculpture. 3. Having the qualities
of sculpture; well-formed: 4. Giving form or shape to a substance.
5. Easily influenced; impressionable. 6. Made of a plastic or plastics.
7. Physics. Capable of undergoing continuous deformation without rupture
or relaxation.
Finding
your balance, after having lost the ability to define direction, is
a soul awakening process. Once you achieve that delicate state, everything
becomes so clear. Anger, resentment, grasping need, a bottomless void
- the abyss that your life has become - it all falls to the wayside.
Your vision clears and everything suddenly comes into focus. You can
breath again without feeling the tension in your body holding you
prisoner. Deep cleansing breathes that help shatter the chains that
held you captive in the mire of your mind.
I
take great satisfaction that I am here of my own choosing. I have
reached an place in my life that before I didn't know existed. I'm
strong enough to move ahead and feel no need to bow my head to the
past. What is done is done, and no amount of remorse or regret will
every undo what has been. Take your losses and move on. A wise man
talked to me about this, long before it ever became an issue for me.
His advice seemed cold at the time, but now I understand what he meant.
Some types of kindness take years to discover. His is one that I'll
treasure always.
My
days are good now. I feel energy when I wake up and the desire to
throw back the covers and dash out of bed. Hop into the shower and
let the day begin. Making the days mean something instead of trying
to find a way to help them quickly pass by. I am looking for and finding
challenges worth my time and effort. I don't dwell on the possibility
of failure, which sadly stopped me in my tracks before I ever really
started. I want to achieve and create. It feels so good to be alive
and walking on a path of my own making.
I've
thrown away that Barbie doll I used to measure myself against. She
holds no power to make me feel inferior any longer. I am myself and
I don't need to compare me to the brainless plastic figure, so delicate
and charming, whose purpose seemed to be a measure to live up to.
I don't need anyone to fight my battles for me, nor do I want them
do. If I open my mouth and insert my foot for a vigorous good chew,
then I deserve to have to the insults thrown my way. It is a quick
lesson in keeping your thoughts to yourself instead of scanning the
world at large and seeing just who might share your opinion. I'll
seek my own challenges and measure my own success in accordance to
my desires. After all, I have only myself to please. You have been
fired Barbie, go and find someone else to oblige. Your sweet charms
ring hollow when compared to the living, breathing woman I have become.
Take your prizes with you, for indeed they were never meant for me.
I need something more substantiated than the crumbs you sweep up off
of my floor. Nibble away dear, that's all you ever could really do.
Barbie, you'll never truly have worth when the only plunder you managed
to grasp and cling to were, in actuality, the very chains that kept
me down.
Happily,
I don't need to protect others from the follies of their ways. Each
of us was granted a mind and the ability to know what is right and
wrong. If people continue to choose the easy way out of life, then
they deny themselves the chance to learn how to grow and make something
blossom from their own dreams and desires. I'll plod a long at my
own pace and accomplish my success by the methods best chosen by me.
Encouragement is always good, but I don't need the passive/aggressive
critique of the people around me to know when I have met my goal.
I can live up to my own expectations and take contentment that I have
lived up to my own values. We can only live up to the expectations
that we set for ourselves. I'm looking after my dreams Barbie, you
better start finding some of your own to grow. It's a cold world at
there, as you have shown me all too often. I've found my way into
the sun...
